I recently celebrated another year around the Sun and per usual, feelings of gratitude led the way the last few days. I am reminded at this time of year what a privilege it is to get older; to spend another year in this body and observe what it is capable of and where it needs more support. I remember that the relationship I have with my Self is going to be the greatest relationship of my life.
Only I am with my Self constantly. I was there when I was born, I will be there when I pass. I am there for every breath and every emotion. There is no one else in your life that you could say the same about. So this becomes a relationship of great importance! But it is often one that is overlooked or deemed not as much of a priority until it is too late.
I feel lucky that I have had a strong connection to Self from a young age and I thank my movement practices for that.
I remember dancing before walking. I remember music playing and my body just knowing the next steps to take, as if the sequence was a part of my DNA. I had to learn about proper breathing to support the jumps, leaps and twirls. Checking in with my state of mind and emotions happened naturally and were often used as fuel for the movement. I learned all these things, and more, so young.
And then, for a while, I lost all of this wisdom. I began to believe that there were things outside of myself that were more important than this relationship to Self. I started to shush the inner urgings for what was ‘trendy’ or ‘popular.’ I thought it would be easier to create a cookie cutter version of myself.
We talk about this a lot in teacher training, actually; the idea of Ego vs. Intuition. That what we think is our self is actually our Ego and the Intuition is this much quieter voice that can come through in moments of clarity. The Ego can be scared and is often in protection mode; Intuition is trusting.
As I started to release external relationships and energetic ties, my relationship with Self came back. It is still something I work on today: trying to be authentic to me. It is tough to avoid getting swept away in all of the information that is out there. Trust yourself. If you come across an obstacle: get still, get quiet, take a few deep breaths, put your hand over your solar plexus and ask your Self
“What do you need?”
I promise you, there will be an answer.
(And if the response after the answer is judge-y or questioning how it will all work out; say hello to your Ego and kindly ask it to leave.)
Dancing turned into gymnastics, turned into running, turned into Yoga. I find myself at the front of the mat, most days, willing to meet myself; greet myself and ask: What do you need?
Sometimes I know the answer that is coming, often I am surprised. And yet again, I am reminded of the importance of this relationship to Self. I think about how many people go about their days without some space carved out for themselves. How many people out there have never even met themselves?
Whatever your tool is, it does not matter so much to me; it could be Yoga, meditation, sound baths, running, Pilates, sauna, writing, cooking, cold plunges, massages or walking the dog! Do you have something that drops you into the moment and encourages self reflection?
What an honor it is, even with the aches and pains…to be in this body and know my Self.
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